OCTOBER 2025 RECAP…
For the final week, our district’s goal is to only speak in Portuguese. We made a “contract,” and to uphold this new set of rules that would drastically affect the amount of words spoken and the topics – from random stuff about kangaroos in Australia to “Oi, tudo bem?” (which is being interpreted as “Yo, what’s up? Nothing much, all good here”). We needed a punishment. Of course, the only real punishment could be the social shame of what? (You already know because you’ve read the title) The Dunce Cap or “Caixa de Fubeca.” Let’s just say I get why they used to use dunce caps in schools. Not a single chirp was heard of English for many hours, and the first unfortunate soul to speak his native tongue by reflex was Elder Hawkins. The rules regarding the Caixa (being translated as Dunce Cap) were that you had to wear it at all times until the next person spoke English. This caixa was covered in many humiliating words like “Eu não falo português” (I don’t speak Portuguese) or “Fubeca” (basically dunce, but the missionary version – there’s not a real translation; it was made up by missionaries here long before I arrived). And a short walk would turn into a paparazzi session for the newly famous missionary.
Anyways, I had the unfortunate experience of wearing the caixa for about 2 hours. Immediately when the caixa was placed on my head, the whole class went wild because I had gotten caught speaking English (I said “what”). As I was now famous, everyone seemed to want to take a picture (I’m not sure why they didn’t want any with me). As I wore the caixa, the first thing I noticed is, well, I couldn’t really see much, and the second is the blood rushing to my face in embarrassment. Luckily, the caixa protected my beet-red face from being seen. (The caixa may or may not have been my idea.) Anyways, after this encounter, it’s safe to say I only spoke Português for the rest of the week. Unfortunately, the caixa was confiscated 28 hours after its creation; six out of the nine in my district had the unfortunate pleasure of having the same experience.
Não Falar Portuguese
If you call fluent being able to be understand… yes. Now it’s time to address some claims I may have made in a previous email. I believe I said I was “67% fluent.” Let’s just say it might have been an exaggeration. Like normal, I’ve been sitting with Brazilians at meals, and this time I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with an amazing elder (don’t remember his name), and immediately I could tell he was talking to me very slowly. No worries, though – it was easier to understand. As I was writing this, I realized I didn’t give any background info. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to fix it, so I’ll add it here. Earlier this day, I had just been made aware of the depth of the Portuguese word conjugation; it consists of about 24+ different conjugations for each verb. And depending on who and what you’re talking about, they all change (nice). I haven’t even mentioned the mass of irregular verbs that don’t follow a consistent pattern. Back to the table. As I’m trying to use these new conjugations, I’m realizing two things: 1) everything I had been saying for the past 4 weeks was wrong, 2) everything I was currently saying was wrong.
Unfortunately, when I asked to confirm this assumption, he looked at me, blinked, then tried not to laugh, and said something like “all of that was wrong.” He then proceeded to correct me, and every single word was incorrect – every single word. :/ Anyways, I had the opportunity to test this “67%” and let’s just say I came a little short when we took our language test; I cruised in with a 5.9 (7 is fluent). A little humbling to the pride 😔. Definitely thought I was fluent by now (I swear I can have full conversations about random stuff with the Brazilians, and I do every day, depending on their accent), but the test said otherwise.
Hand of God or My Hand?
If y’all remember, I’m the new barber on the block. I’ve been using some handy American clippers for my services, on loan from Elder Pollack, a missionary in my district. As I said in my last email, the block was hot, and this was the first time I had a decent amount of time to cut hair. So, as the people are lining up and I’m cutting down, these American clippers start heating up. Graciously, the CTM bathroom outlets are made in such a way that they fit both USA plugs and Brazilian plugs.
Unfortunately the wattage is not the same (USA voltage 120V, Brazil voltage 220V). Anyways, these clippers start heating up, and I mean cooking (80-110°F), but as any good barber, the show must go on, so I wrapped one of those thin commercial bathroom paper towels around the clippers and kept going.
BALD
Unfortunately, someone in my district (an American group of missionaries I came in with) had the wonderful idea to buzz our heads before we left… we all did. Except Elder Pollack, yes, this is the same Elder Pollack from the other story whose clippers got melted. He has had enough with clippers. Because I now have no clippers, we had to go on a wild goose chase. After around three blown leads, we finally found ourselves with two weak clippers only meant for lining up. Because these clippers would give a basically bald cut, unfortunately, I had to hold the guards from the melted clippers (way too big) and try not to drop them as the clippers died and got clogged. On the first guy I cut (Elder Haskins), he was stuck with a couple of stripes down the middle. As we asked everyone on the floor for clippers, luckily for him, his turned out the best because I felt the worst for all the suffering he had to go through, so he got a nice fade too. Unfortunately, the commotion of finding the clippers and everyone viewing the beautiful cut Elder Haskins got caused half of the CTM to enter the bathroom and bombard me in three languages for cuts, all while I was sweating, trying not to drop the guard and ruin these boys’ lives for the next two months instead of one. Anyways, it all worked out fine, and we just look like a bunch of escaped prisoners or something, except Elder Haskins, Elder Pollack, and I (I’m starting my wave journey; I will be quitting and picking out my hair in one week).
Art Of The Month
São Paulo And The Bonita City
Although most of the time here has felt like jail, every once in a while we are set free to enjoy the liberty (through the bus window) of the city. The CTM is in an older part of São Paulo, and most of the surrounding buildings and skyscrapers are pretty much the same, and this whole time, I couldn’t understand how this city was considered nice or how anyone could want to live here. On the bus ride to the temple one day, we encountered heavy traffic, and instead of going through the favelas, our bus driver made a left turn. Apparently, São Paulo isn’t just a bunch of broken-down old dusty brutalism-style buildings, And I was met with the most beautiful modern building, with crazy designs, straight-up Architectural Digest front-page worthy.
It was then that I realized a couple of things: 1) São Paulo is the biggest city in the Americas for a reason, and 2) I had only been around 1/10 (if that) of the city, even though we’d driven through it for an hour or so. This was such a glorious experience; I swear it was like a movie. Unfortunately, I didn’t get pictures; I was too wide-eyed looking out the window, but you can probably just look up pictures of São Paulo. This changed my perception on some things. It was only when I realized that my view of the city which I thought was the full picture was not “wrong” but just lacked the full depth and clarity that seeing more of the city brought. Without enough of information I was forced to judge s beautifull city by it’s flaws. Although the flawed parts I saw still exist, they were overwhelmed buy the good.
As i’ve tried to be a good companion during my first transfer*, I’ve very quickly realized I’ve fallen short, I too have exposed my rough parts and edges, and even as I try to be the best I can those things don’t and wont every go away. Every mistake, every shortcoming only adds to the stockpile of others, yet even through this our Savior Jesus christ offers grace through the covenant path, Faith, Repentance, Baptism, and the gift of the Holy Ghost. Moroni 10:32 “Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. 33 And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot.”
As I leave the training center to teach of christ in Recife, invite others to Him, and become a better follower of Christ myself, I hope that I can share what has impacted my life most with as many people that will hear. I invite you all to strive to do the same, if y’all ever have questions feel free to send an email and I’ll respond with an answer.
Love yall so much
-Elder Gist
*every 6 weeks each missionary has the possibility of moving locations, like the apostle paul in the new testament, each move is called a “transfer”.
Notable Mentions
-I leave today
-My weight is 205lb
-I’ve met so many people aready
-I enjoy your emails so send away